I've just released a new album of miscellaneous songs. The sort of tunes I wrote for films that don't exist, songs I thought would be good for video games. That sort of thing. I like the music and it's nice for it to see the light of day. I also wanted to collect some of these things so I could "clean out the attic", clear room in my brain for new music I'm working on. I have been working on a new acoustic album, but these songs kept giving me the sad puppy eyes, so they go first. This new album is available as a free download. CDs cost money, but they cost money to make and ship.
Which brings me to a waypoint in part of my musical journey I started about 15 years ago, when I first put music online. Think about that. I'm 38 right now. There are kids now learning to drive who've never not had downloadable music. And for much of that time, that music has been free, one way or other. I've struggled over these 15 years with how I feel about free music, stolen or legit. I want people to hear my music, but it would at least be nice for this endeavor to partly fund itself.
So, I have finally settled on a decision, at least for my own music. All my music is now available for free download. It almost always has been, but at least if you're going to get it free, get it directly from me. If you've purchased my music in the past, thank you. Every bit has helped me continue doing what I do. If you haven't, but you would like to, you could donate when you download from bandcamp. Or contact me directly at my website. This is also now the modus operandi for Strange Land, so you can get the prog metal we've made free, too. That's really all there is to say on the surface. If you want the music and no more, you can stop reading now. If you want the whole story, read on.
There's a joke I see posted about musicians quite often. Musician: Person who loads $5,000 worth of gear into a $500 car for a $50 gig, or something like that. Only it isn't a joke, it's truth. The only untrue part of that joke is the $50 gig. I'd be thrilled with 50, it's usually more like 10.
The creative sphere is an ecosystem. A thriving, healthy ecosystem is diverse, like the rainforest or a coral reef. There is great variety and stability for the long run. One that isn't healthy lacks diversity, and could collapse suddenly. There are some cases where some life thrives in hostile environments, such as the extremophiles that live near ocean vents. But even there, the balance is precarious and the diversity is dwarfed by what you would find in the rain forest. If the creative ecosystem is damaged, creativity suffers. You have movie sequel after reboot after sequel. You have top 40 songs that all sound the same. In my opinion there are many unsigned bands in niche markets that all sound the same. Because the only way to survive at all is to be like someone who already did it. But that always lessens the diversity of the group and pretty soon you're all the same. If the support isn't there, creatives will be less likely to take risks. Less risk means less growth.
Most regular gigging musicians do 3 hour shows, three 45 minute sets. In order to make even the equivalent of $8 per hour, those gigs would have to pay $21/hr, assuming the musician can gig 5 days a week (that used to happen, really. When the Musician's Union mattered). To get it on one gig, it's over $100/hr. Add travel time, gear cost, and the hundreds if not thousands of hours of rehearsal and it's beyond impossible to actually make a living gigging like this. And to even book gigs every weekend all year long is a monumental task. Ok, sell merch. Well, a CD costs between 1 and 3 dollars to make, last time I had t-shirts made they were about 4 bucks each. Unless you can sell 50 cds and shirts every single gig, you're still struggling.
Honestly, this decision makes me feel like I lost. I failed. I did something wrong. And it's hard to make sense of feeling like you failed at being yourself, expressing yourself. But at this point I don't know of another approach to take with my music. I'm not a schmoozer. I'm not a people person. I don't like selling myself. I don't have tons of money to pay someone else to sell me. I don't like playing shows very often, I never have, but that's where you would sell merch and maybe make tips. Live shows have usually been for me at best a semi-fun distraction, at worst a total waste of time. I have been lucky enough to open for some bigger bands and performer and those shows are always good, but they are also few and far between. I'm an introvert, and I much prefer the mad scientist approach. I want to tinker away in my lab with my experiments, hidden away from the world, releasing music when I can. But that's not good enough for the world anymore. Just being creative, enjoying the process doesn't cut it. Doing something other people can't doesn't matter (and by can't I mean make my music. Mine isn't any better than anyone else's, but I'm the only one who can make my music. It's a reflection and extension of myself). You have to be large and loud and do something stupid and put it on youtube. I can't stop making music, but some days I can't think of a good reason to keep going.
This isn't about just my music, or any one type of music. You can be the pop-iest, catchiest, prettiest performer ever, but without a lot of luck and/or a lot of money behind you, your chances are still slim. For every Macklemore there are a thousand artists you'll never hear of. Endless hard work is always necessary, but today that will only go so far, and it's less and less likely that hard work will ever make you a decent living in music. Reverb Nation is a very popular site for bands to use for promotion. There are over 500,000 bands listed on their global chart ranking. Certainly some of those bands are defunct and some might be partly cover bands. Wikipedia states that RN has 3 million band accounts, with 30 million unique visitors a month. Whichever number is right, that is either a monthly average of 60 page views or 10 page views per band. And you can bet the spread isn't even. How do you compete? Before the internet an unsigned band was at best a small fish in a big pond just trying not to get eaten by the few big fish. Now we're all small fish but the pond is an ocean and there are millions of fish.
Entertainment has changed, video games and Netflix binges are the kings. People don't go out like they used to. Who was the last band that broke because they were big in their home town and spread by word of mouth? Macklemore? Who else? Bueller? Bueller? And does anyone really get huge anymore, like Michael Jackson huge? And how many artists that make it big make more than 2 or 3 albums? What band that hit it big in the last 5 years will still be making albums 20 years from now? Spotify and Pandora are getting to be the most popular ways to listen to music, and they pay fractions of a penny on song plays. People will say that Pandora and torrent sites are exposure. I can die from exposure. Sure, the music is out there, but out of every 100 people who download a random new band, how many become fans? One? If you're really lucky? Again, we're overwhelmed with choice. More of us artists are more visible than any time in history, cutting smaller and smaller pieces of the pie. It used to be almost impossible to get your foot in the door. Now we've all come through the door and we're stacked like cordwood. How much music can one person consume, anyway? Between CDs and downloads I probably have around 1200 albums in my music collection. I'd bet in any year I listen to less than 100 of them, and at least half of those will be albums I've been listening to for years, even decades.
I don't want to compete, I want to create. It's the artists conundrum. I do this for myself. I have to satisfy myself and not care what anyone thinks. I know I'm not making a commercial product. And yet, at some point, I want to share. At that point I have to be ready that nobody else will get it, nobody else will like it, nobody else will care that I've done this thing. And that was a major factor that tipped this decision for me. If I really am doing this for myself, I cannot expect anything in return at all. I've told myself that's how I feel for a while, but I haven't really lived it. Thus, now I will create and share and generally ignore the rest of you. Or something like that.
As I said at the beginning, if you want my music for free, get it from me via bandcamp. I would still say don't use torrent and file host sites. Kim Dotcom, founder of Megaupload, has made millions, mostly from advertising, but musicians still get nothing. The "industry" still uses and abuses musicians. Any torrent site you go to will be making some money, but at this point the creators of content that allow sites like that to exist get squat. Torrent sites are the new 'big labels' that chew up and spit out creators.
And wherever you do end up getting my music, if you like it, please consider a donation, it really does help. Let's get into the nuts and bolts. I spend several thousand dollars a year making my music. Probably an average of $2,000-3,000, sometimes more, sometimes less. Getting new gear, repairs, manufacturing cds, shipping, web hosting costs, continuing education, advertising, promotions, it all adds up. Not a huge pile of money, but a chunk. And I'm in the boat of trying to make a living from music. I don't have some great banker/engineer/whatever day job that allows me to afford an expensive hobby (and this is not a hobby to me). I'm self employed so any time off for music is time not getting paid by a day job. What you're doing when you pay for my music is helping me continue, and it's a positive feedback loop. The more I can make on my music, the less other work I have to do to survive. Then I have more time to make music, and you get more music more often.
Music is an inseparable part of me. I love creating. I love sculpting in sound. This is not a hobby. This is a job I love that I don't get paid to do. Quitting music for me would be like dying my skin blue, cutting my arms off, changing my name to Apple Fritter Jones, and running off to join a Catholic convent. There is no universe in which that makes any sense. I don't have children and I never will. The closest thing I have in human form are students, and I hope I've left them with a good influence. The music I create is my family, my legacy. It's all I'm going to leave behind, and a hundred years from now if anyone thinks on me, they will be listening to my music.
So true Sean. Thank you for sharing.
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